Christmas Through the Lens of the Women’s Leader Archetypes

The festive season has arrived, casting its unique blend of emotions across the globe. For many, it's filled with joy, family gatherings, feasts, and the spirit of giving. Yet, for others, it brings a time of heightened stress, anxiety, family discord, and a sense of discontent. In this light, let’s explore the world of the Women's Leader Archetypes to discover their distinct approaches to navigating and celebrating Christmas.

The Shadow Archetypes

The Hermit

The Hermit is already stressed and overwhelmed before the decorations go up in the shops. As the idea of Christmas gets closer, she berates herself for not getting organised, and the feeling of guilt and shame builds with every card she receives that reminds her that she hasn’t bought cards… or made a list… and can’t remember anyone’s address anyway. The more she procrastinates, the worse she feels, until she is paralysed with indecision. She wants to decline invitations, but leaves it too late to say no and then has to go. She spends Christmas day at a family event she hates until she can think of an excuse to head home early.

Tip: If this is you, take time for self-care - meditate, walk, and destress yourself. Break your overwhelming to-do list into small manageable chunks. Each day try and do one or two things that move you towards your goal.

Remember: Your worth is not determined by what other people think of you and you don’t need to go to events you don’t enjoy. If you just want to stay in that’s ok, and don’t feel guilty.

The Martyr

The Martyr is hosting a huge family and friends event at her home. Not because she wants to, but because she can’t say no to people. It started with immediate family, and each year it gets bigger as people add distant relations, neighbours, and friends to the guest list. The Martyr spends many hours labouring to cook, decorate, and buy gifts for everyone, so everyone feels included (even those she doesn’t know). She becomes more and more resentful but doesn’t ask for help. As she smiles and welcomes everyone to the party, everyone assumes that she loves to host. Whenever someone says “Would you mind if I bring my friend along” the Martyr smiles and says “Of course not, it’s no problem at all”. Her lack of boundaries and need to please people leaves her exhausted, broke, and taken advantage of.

Tip: If you tend to the Martyr, there is one word you need: BOUNDARIES. Learn to say no to other people’s requests that you don’t want to meet. It is healthy and normal to put yourself first and it doesn’t make you a bad person. If you are the host of a massive family Christmas, ask family members to bring a dish each so you don’t do all the cooking. If you can’t bear the thought of extra guests, simply say “I’m sorry, but I’m not able to accommodate extra people this year”.

Remember: People will still love and respect you if you have good boundaries in place. In fact, they will respect you more.  

The Lone Wolf

The Lone Wolf throws a great party. Everyone who is anyone is invited. Her boss, the local politicians, business leaders, valuable social connections. The Lone Wolf has hired help but keeps an eagle eye and tight control. She approves everything personally, with an eye for the impactful and spectacular. Her ambition is for her party to make the social pages of the local newspaper. The Lone Wolf buys a new designer outfit for the party and has hair and makeup done for the occasion. She doesn’t miss a beat as she circulates, networking strategically with the decision-makers in her circles. She doesn’t consider an event a success unless she has advanced her interests, be it a new business contact and a potential contract, or an invitation to another high-profile event. This creates high stress in the holiday season, and comparison-itis steals the joy from it.

Tip: Try to take the pressure off yourself to achieve an outcome from your event and relax and enjoy the time with your guests. If you hate networking and only throw the party for the connections and kudos it gives, then scale back the event. The Christmas season is a time to wind down and do what you love.

Remember: Your self-worth is not tied to being influential and important.

The Tyrant

The Tyrant’s Christmas, whatever form it takes, needs to be perfect. From the decorations to the food, everything must be exactly how she envisaged. Slightly overcooked shortbreads go in the bin as she recooks everything not to standard. In her head, a perfect Christmas may be like the magazine versions, and endless hours go into reproducing the look. She is devastated and angry if people are late and the turkey gets a bit dry, or if someone is too full to eat her perfect pudding.  She feels that nobody appreciates the efforts she put in, or if things don’t go to plan she beats herself up and feels like a failure.

Tip: Let go of having a perfect Christmas. Things go wrong, people are late, and food gets a bit overcooked sometimes. Nobody really cares, they are just enjoying being together and celebrating. Top up the glasses of bubbles and relax.

Remember: Your worth isn’t tied to achieving perfection. Humans are flawed, and you are not “less than” for being flawed too. Embrace the imperfections!

The Empowered Archetypes

The Warrior

The Warrior is organised and goal-oriented. She has lists, and a structure to her Christmas planning and kicks into action early enough to get everything sorted for a great day. But at the same time, she is relaxed about things getting derailed (life happens).

The Wise Woman

The Wise Woman is often found at networking events in the holiday season. She understands the value in the connections she has and how to leverage them, but at the same time, she isn’t there just for the advantages. She genuinely enjoys catching up with her network, and sharing ideas. Who knows, a chance conversation at an event could result in big impacts in the community.

The Tribe Builder

The Tribe Builder uses the Christmas season to renew old friendships, nurture current ones, and make new friends. She is warm, open, and relaxed and people gravitate to her and any events she holds. Her house is full of people – friends and family as she celebrates the togetherness of the season.

The Sovereign

The Sovereign is found doing what makes her happy and feeds her soul. Whether it is taking in a white Christmas in the Alps, chilling on a beach with a barbeque, or hot air ballooning at sunrise, she is a free spirit who creates an experience for herself and her loved ones that is unrestrained by expectations. Of course, she can want a traditional Christmas, but it will probably also involve something unexpected. A dawn ocean swim before settling down to open gifts. Or trying out a tradition from another country, like gifting books on Christmas Eve and then hot chocolate in bed to read them.

As we explore the diverse ways in which each Women's Leader Archetype approaches the Christmas season, it's crucial to remember the underlying essence of Christmas -  a period of joy, reflection, and connection.

In the whirlwind of festivities and responsibilities, we remember that relaxation and joy are not just season's greetings but essential components of effective leadership and personal well-being. The Sovereign, with her creative zest, reminds us that joy can be found in the new and unexpected, while the Tribe Builder highlights the warmth of connecting with others. The Warrior inspires us to plan to use our time and energy wisely, and the Wise Woman reminds us to use our significant influence to benefit all.

As leaders and as individuals, embracing the spirit of Christmas means allowing ourselves to step back, breathe, and relish the moments that make this time special. It's in the laughter shared over a meal, the music of carollers, or the excitement in a child's eyes. It's in these moments that we recharge, gain new perspectives, and return to our roles with renewed energy and insight.

Here's to a Christmas that rejuvenates and inspires, reminding us of the simple, yet profound joys of life. Happy holidays!

Are you curious about the Women's Leader Archetypes? Book a time to chat to Ros here