15 Things I Learned About Coaching From A Horse

For most of my life, I’ve been a horse person. I learned to ride when I was four and spent most of my younger years relentlessly nagging my parents to buy me a horse. I played with toy horses, read horse books, and spent as much time as possible at the local riding school, daydreaming that one of the magnificent creatures belonged to me.  

Then, at age 12, my parents realised I wasn't growing out of my obsession and bought me Copper, a half-Arabian chestnut gelding. I adored him with every fibre of my being. He was terribly flighty and could leap out from under me without notice, dump me on the ground and bolt back to the paddock. I spent more time walking than I did riding back then.  

Over time my riding skills improved. I stayed on (mostly). I eventually outgrew Copper and graduated to Kojack, an ex-racehorse. Kojack and I were a fixture on the show circuit in the summer and the eventing circuit the rest of the year. He was a bold jumper who could clear 6 feet like it was a pole on the ground. He was my heart horse. My trainer once said to me “he makes you a better rider and you make him a better horse” 

So, what did I learn about coaching from a horse?

1.  Trust is Foundational

Horses require a foundation of trust before they will follow your lead. Building this trust takes time, patience, and consistent behaviour.

LEARNING: Establishing trust with your clients is crucial. A strong coach-client relationship is built on reliability and consistency, which encourages clients to open up and engage fully in the coaching process.

2.  Clear Communication is Key

Horses respond best to clear, consistent signals. Mixed messages can confuse them and lead to unintended behaviours.

LEARNING: As a coach, clear and consistent communication helps clients understand expectations and reduces misunderstandings. Being articulate and straightforward fosters a productive coaching environment.

3.  Patience Yields Progress

Training a horse doesn't happen overnight. It requires patience to work through challenges and setbacks.

LEARNING: Clients may progress at different rates. Demonstrating patience allows clients to develop at their own pace, leading to more sustainable growth and confidence in their abilities.

4.  Positive Reinforcement Works Wonders

Horses respond positively to rewards and praise, which encourages desired behaviours more effectively than punishment.

LEARNING: Focusing on clients' strengths and acknowledging their achievements boosts motivation and reinforces positive behaviours. Encouragement can be a powerful tool in facilitating progress.

5.  Adaptability is Essential

Every horse has a unique personality and may not respond to the same training methods. Adapting your approach is necessary.

LEARNING: Tailoring your coaching style to meet each client's individual needs enhances effectiveness. Flexibility allows you to address diverse challenges and preferences.

6.  Your Energy Affects Others

Horses are sensitive to your energy and body language. If you're tense or anxious, they often mirror those feelings.

LEARNING: Being mindful of your non-verbal cues and emotional state can positively influence your client's experience. Staying calm and centred helps create a safe space for clients to explore and grow.

7.  Boundaries Define Relationships

Setting clear boundaries with a horse establishes mutual respect and understanding of acceptable behaviour.

LEARNING: Defining professional boundaries with clients is important. It clarifies roles and responsibilities, ensuring a respectful, ethical, and effective coaching relationship.

8.  Consistency Builds Confidence

Regular routines and consistent training help horses learn and feel secure.

LEARNING: Consistency in your coaching approach provides stability, helping clients to feel confident and focused on their goals.

9.  Listening is as Important as Leading

Observing a horse's reactions and adjusting accordingly is crucial. Sometimes, the horse guides the interaction based on its needs.

LEARNING: Active listening enables you to understand your client's perspective better. Being responsive to their feedback and adjusting your methods can enhance the coaching outcome.

10.  Embrace the Present Moment

Horses live in the here and now. They aren't burdened by past mistakes or future worries.

LEARNING: Encouraging clients to focus on the present can reduce anxiety and improve engagement. Mindfulness practices can enhance clarity and decision-making.

11.  Encourage Independence

Allowing a horse to make decisions can build its confidence and problem-solving skills.

LEARNING: Empower your clients by encouraging autonomy. Facilitating their ability to find solutions fosters self-reliance and long-term success.

12.  Small Steps Lead to Big Changes

Progress with a horse often happens through small, incremental steps rather than giant leaps.

LEARNING: Recognise and celebrate small victories with your clients. This approach keeps them motivated and highlights their ongoing progress toward larger goals.

13.  Stay Balanced

Maintaining physical balance on a horse affects how it moves and responds.

LEARNING: Strive for balance in your coaching—between talking and listening, challenging and supporting. A balanced approach meets clients where they are while guiding them forward.

14.  Safety First

Being attentive to safety ensures both you and the horse avoid unnecessary risks.

LEARNING: Creating a safe emotional environment is essential. Clients are more likely to take risks and share openly when they feel secure.

15.  Learn from Setbacks

If a training session doesn't go as planned, it's an opportunity to learn and adjust your approach.

LEARNING: View challenges and setbacks as learning opportunities. Reflecting on what doesn't work can provide valuable insights for future coaching strategies.

By integrating these learnings into your coaching practice, you can enhance your effectiveness and create more meaningful connections with your clients.

Book a discovery call with Ros here

Find out more about the Women's Leader Archetypes here

Become accredited in the Women's Leader Archetypes model and assessment. Book a chat with Ros here.

Read next: Creating A Personal Leadership Brand: How to showcase your Archetype